Thursday, July 10, 2014

When things go wrong, don't go with them.






Serious men in dark suits phone. Angus settles down in the office to talk to them. From time to time Sophie looks in to see what's going on, then heads out into the garden. After twenty minutes or so, Angus sees Sophie heading out of the door, a freshly laundered pillow case in her jaws. 

The conversation is terminated as hastily as oriental politesse will allow. Three pillow cases have been transported into the courtyard. These have been chewed. How did Sophie find the linen cupboard ? Did I leave the door open ? The skill required to stand and pull down laundry from a shelf three feet off the ground is remarkable.

Bob has discovered the laundry basket. The rose garden littered with drool drenched socks. Bob has a look of deep contentment on his face. The PON's are banished to their pen. Sophie gives me her '' if your too busy to amuse us don't be surprised when we make our own entertainment ' look.   

After lunch they dig. Bob digs in the courtyard. Sophie also digs and ends up looking less than adorable. I wash her paws. The water in the bowl turns the colour of 'London Stone' in the Farrow and Ball catalogue.

'The font' returns and wonders how the dogs can have become feral in the space of 30 hours.  '' It's a skill " I reply.

The taps on the showers in the London flat turn from left to right. The French woman has turned them all right to left. This has broken all the mechanisms. Hence the lack of water. The dishwasher door has been opened while it's running. Hence the flood in the kitchen. The electrics in the dishwasher have fused.  Russell the odd job man repairs all the shower mechanisms and replaces the dish washer. The French woman it seems is not very practical. Angus can think of other words for it. 

14 comments:

  1. Oh dear, I hope your French tenant is paying for the damage, or can you get insurance for that kind of thing?
    A colleague let his cottage to someone who put the plastic washing up bowl on top of the gas hob while one of the burners was still alight! It seems some tenants leave their common sense on the doorstep when they move in!

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    1. The strength and determination needed to turn a tap in the wrong direction, and break the mechanism, is quite remarkable. And I mean remarkable not only in terms of outlandish strength but also intelligence ... or lack thereof.

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  2. Perhaps the next prospective tenants should be given a house 'driving test' before being admitted.
    We too have dark suited men from the Orient in our office this week.
    Oh dear, the linen cupboard...
    Cheers! Gail.

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  3. Playin wif laundry are fun - my favorite are dirty socks.

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  4. Maybe you should give Intelligence tests to prospective tenants.

    Are the pups objecting to the quality of food with the 'the font' gone.

    XXXOOO Bella Roxy & Dui

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  5. PONs more intelligent than your current tenants then ?

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  6. Reading of your adventures through life makes my day!

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  7. Remember the saying "Somewhere, a village is missing it's idiot"? I believe you've found her. The laundry nabbing duo have got to provide comic relief.

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  8. Photo number four! So funny and lovely at the same time. That is not a feral face.

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  9. Who knew you needed to give shower tap instructions to new tenants? It boggles the mind!

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    1. The strength required to turn taps the wrong way , against the thread, is truly mind boggling .

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  10. Some tenants make sure that the monthly rent paid ends up paying for repairs....wow she must have brute strength to turn the taps against the thread....maybe she used a wrench.....
    Hope the new dishwasher instructions were explained in great detail to avoid any misinterpretation.
    Sophie sure does know how to find the unthinkable items.....tiles, laundry from the "locked" cupboard.....a Houdini on our hands Angus?

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