We're down early at the cafe under the arcades for our illicit half croissant . The greengrocer is still unloading his van. We buy two punnets of strawberries. The lady in the blue dressing gown and pom-pom slippers is about to have her first sip of beer. She bids a warm welcome to Bob and Sophie oblivious to the dab of froth on the end of her nose.
We get home to find the tile restorer applying some dark brown liquid to the floors. '' This'll bring out the lustre and have them looking good as new ". He says this with what might pass for conviction. Angus is doubtful about the 'good as new' part of the statement. Angus is also doubtful about the 'restore the lustre' part too.
After that it's Gallic chaos. The kitchen fitters arrive. They unload their truck. The kitchen designer in the red trousers returns with 'the tap'. We tell him, again, we don't want it. He mutters and disappears trailing bad grace in his wake.
The electricians stay just long enough to say the cooker hood doesn't have a fitting for the extractor pipe. They too leave. The man who's restoring the tiles informs everyone they can't walk on them until they're dry. The plumbers walk on them. Loic the bifocaled gardener wanders upstairs and wonders if he should take the tractor and cut the lawn. 'No !' says 'The Font' emphatically.
Bob and Sophie are told umpteen times they're not allowed in the kitchen. They feign deafness. Bob is in one of his inquisitive moods. Sophie is in one of her ' stop everything you're doing and adore me ' moods. Neither is helpful. The PONs are banished into the front garden. The plumbers can't find the right flange. 'We'll be back later' they say. After that a deep Friday afternoon silence descends on The Rickety Old Farmhouse.