Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Drama to melodrama .


Drama turns to melodrama. Caroline, the permanently unhappy cleaning lady, has a run-in with the builders. They've parked in her space. She wants them to move. They ask if she can wait until they've unloaded the cement mixer. There is a sudden gallic 'moment'. An extremely irate Caroline announces to all and sundry that she refuses to work in a house that is run by peasants.'' I will only work where I am appreciated ".  She then does a u-turn on the gravel and heads out of the gates at high speed. Gravel scatters theatrically in her wake. As a parting delight she screams out a phrase that can roughly be translated as ' go away you nasty people '. 



Angus, who has missed all this while on the morning croissant run with Bob, returns. The builders seem delighted to have witnessed such an exhilarating piece of street theatre. They're whistling.  ' Do you think she'll show up as usual next Monday ? ' I ask ' The Font'. This question is met with silence. The thought of another battle between builders and cleaning lady too much to conjure with over breakfast . 'Not every day you get called a peasant before your first cup of coffee' I add, gratuitously. 


To round off 'The Fonts' day, Bob appears in the kitchen with a mummified rat. He's found it in the barn. Bob is loathe to let such a priceless treasure go without a struggle. '' Look what I've brought you ! ". Angus is called upon to remove rat and dog to the courtyard.  On closer inspection Angus wonders if desiccation is the same as mummification. 

Over dinner 'The Font' , uncharacteristically, has two glasses of wine. 


Bob dozes in the shade of the courtyard. From time to time he makes small contented noises. The happiness of a boy who's dreaming of delicacies he's found in the barn. 


20 comments:

  1. A mummified rat? Oh, heaven.
    Toodle pip!
    Bertie.

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    1. From the way Bobs tail waved it can safely be said that in PON land a dried rat is worth more than diamonds.

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  2. Are you secretly hoping that the crabby Caroline doesn't come back?
    Or will she come back as if nothing happened and expect to get paid for Monday because it wasn't her fault she couldn't stay?
    And maybe the font realises that there is never just one rat................

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    1. Secretly hoping ? I'm praying she thinks we're too 'peasant' like to work for.
      'The Fonts' silence, as you suggest, may be down to a recognition that she'll be back next week as if a slew of invective never happened.

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    2. Re: The Font
      My thoughts exactly.

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  3. Oh dear, just as well Caroline wasn't there when Bob presented 'The Font' with the rat - it would have given her more ammunition for even more melodrama...
    There's never a dull moment at ROF, is there !

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  4. What an exciting day. Looking for another cleaning lady will surely be an adventure. Perhaps Madame Bay will assist again.

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  5. Maybe any cleaner interviews can incorporate a wee test in 'who can throw furry fox the furthest'?

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  6. Oh glorious. Another memorably laugh out loud post. This one almost rivals the fish in the bucket post.

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  7. You have such interesting cleaning ladys in France!

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  8. Note to Bob: Find another rat. Save for presentation to Caroline.

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  9. Quick, hire someone new before Cranky Caroline changes her mind and comes back! Maybe someone with an affection for dogs. After all, if the dogs didn't track in bits of the garden there would be no need for a cleaning service. We always include the Scottie girls in interviews for help. If they don't like you, we probably won't either.
    Pam, keeper of Bonnie n Kenzie

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  10. No question, it was definitely a "2 glasses of wine" dinner, and maybe one or two in between. Perhaps Bob's finding the rat was his way of "changing the subject" of Caroline?


    (Kim-Life at Golden Pines)

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  11. From your first description of Caroline, this was only a matter of time before it came to pass. Time for a quick new hire, assisted by Bob and Sophie on the vetting committee.
    Wondering what else is yet undiscovered in the barn. You probably don't want to know.

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  12. Well, I swan... ( something my grandmother would say ). The rat alone was cause for two glasses of wine, if not more!!!

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  13. Really Caroline must have a very unhappen life to let the postion of a parking space get to here so badly. If she had cleaning supplies and equipment to carry in the builders would have hepled. Anyways she was not even happy with Bob and Sophie in the house, so I say "good riddance"
    As for the font I say "bottoms up".

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  14. Poor Mme Font...quite a lively day. Hopefully Caroline along with her enormous superiority complex, is history.

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  15. Best post yet. Oath swearing cleaners, morose lads and mummified rats all in one story...an unbeatable combination.

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  16. Practically perfect in every way.
    My sympathies to the Font.

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