Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Dinner plates


Off to London to talk to American men in dark suits about Brexit, Grexit and Scoxit. Cloudy and humid when I get there but thankfully it soon brightens up. The American men complain about the strength of the coffee ( too strong ) and the swimming pool ( too small ) in their hotel.  They all wear wrist watches the size of dinner plates.



Afterwards there's time to go to the butchers and order some proper sausages. Bob and his master will be able to have a fry-up later in the week. 'The Font' disapproves of fry-ups as conducive to a thickening around the midriff. How anyone that eats pickled herring for breakfast can object to a little bacon and sausage is a mystery. Fortnums no longer stocks tatty pancakes which takes some of the shine off the shopping expedition.



Yours truly has been tasked with dealing with the French lady who is renting the flat. Madame has sent 'The Font' a stream of consciousness e-mail about the safety of roller blinds. Some of the e-mail is in English, most of it in Franglais. It is punctuated with !!!!'s and !!!!!'s.

Angus meets the tenant. Very French, very full of energy, very little. She has got it into her head that there are new safety regulations concerning roller blinds and wants the existing ones replaced. '' An infant or an animal could become strangulated in the chord and die" . Angus asks if she has an infant staying with her : ' Non '. Do you have a pet ? : 'Non'. There are obvious ripostes to her request but they are best left unsaid.

We part amicably. Angus promises to replace the roller blinds when they become 'tired'. This seems to satisfy her. I call 'The Font' with the good news. Somehow 'The Font' doesn't think this is the end of the matter.  



London is looking at its most beautiful. May and September are the best months to visit. Not too hot. Not too crowded. 


16 comments:

  1. First time (but I fear not the last) that I've heard the term Scoxit. An ugly word in many ways.
    Cheers, Gail.
    PS Did it occur to the Americans that the problem is their coffee back home is too week!

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  2. I've a feeling that the blinds may become "tired" before their time if your tenant has anything to do with it. !!!

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    1. You will remember that this is the lady who managed to break all the shower mechanisms by turning them the wrong way - something the manufacturer thought was impossible. She also destroyed a dishwasher by repeatedly opening and closing the door to add another plate while it was running. As for the freezer ! You may well be right about the blinds.

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  3. Perhaps Mme Font could make said pancakes for you? Are they the same as tatty scones? I have fond memories of being served those for breakfast at Granny Bell's house in Irvine. x

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    1. The chances of potato pancakes or tatty scones being made for me by 'The Font' are extremely small.

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  4. The sun is shining in London today, not as windy, a perfect day to take a dog for a stroll around the parks or along the Thames

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  5. How old is this woman? Seems a bit soft in the head. Weren't those potato growing people easy renters? Maybe you could encourage them to pay another visit.

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    1. A gentleman would charitably assume she's in her late 30's . Seconded to London by a French oil company. Clearly, her work is not challenging enough.

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  6. oh mon dieu! how i would love to be your tenant in london. i love the pictures today. even though they're missing the little stars of this blog!
    uh oh. now when i use an ! i will think of the french lady.
    i am sad that you have to deal with americans in dark suits and inflated egos. and we wonder why people in other countries don't like us.
    see... i almost put in another !
    it reminds me of a show over here called house hunters international. americans abroad looking for somewhere to live... they whine about the size of the closets "that would NEVER hold all of my shoes" or the size of the kitchen "well. we'd have to completely re-do the kitchen" or the size of the living room...
    oh deliver me!
    and ... she awakens from her rant realizing she's made an overlong comment. mea culpa. !!!!

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  7. I bet the Font would make potato lefsa for you, not potato pancakes, but still delicious. Tammy is right about House Hunters International, other complaints the hunters have are to have parking places, to have a bathtub AND shower in at least one if not all bathrooms and more kitchen counter space.

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  8. Bouncing Bertie is right - it's the American coffee that's too weak as we have found whenever we've visited the States. The Americans should try a really good coffee in any European country - that would give then cause to complain - once they had got their breath back ! Watches the size of dinner plates - are they short-sighted ?
    Trust the delightful duo are behaving themselves whilst you're away, Angus !

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  9. I fondly remember being introduced to Cumberland sausages on a sojourn to England. I still dream of them. And proper brown sauce.

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  10. Duke and Petite-Chose at 2GMay 13, 2015 at 9:31 PM

    Ooooh sausages and a real fry up - lucky Bob! Will Sophie get a taste too, or is she still on her diet ? Those sausages in the photo look scrumptious and we wished we lived near enough to have some.... Pickled herring might be OK occasionally, but can't beat bacon, egg or sausages.
    That lady sounds a disaster - we're glad she's not living on our house!!!

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  11. Dinner plate sized watches, you have described the watches most elaborately, and I wonder why they NEED to be so huge....it's a stupid status thing.
    Can I please go and speak to your tenant the next time there is a problem.....I get my message across to my tenants very very well.

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