Nothing ignominious

The PONs are in fine form. This is going to be the best Monday on record.

Yesterday afternoon at a quarter to three the villagers gather at the Salle des Fetes for the presentation on the new fibre optic Internet line. The doors are closed and there's no sign of the mayor. While we wait Angus makes small talk. He compliments the matron of the old folks home on her stylish new coat. The woman who has bought the school teachers house informs me that she has researched her family history back to the sixteenth century. '' There are gaps Monsieur but nothing ignominious ". This is one of those French statements that leave foreigners unsure how to respond.

At three the mayor drives up in his little Renault without hubcaps. '' We're waiting at the crossroads for the ribbon cutting '" he informs us before adding " You'd better hurry up ".  So it is that a long gaggle of local residents can be seen walking rapidly along the lane towards the edge of the village.

Finally, everyone is gathered in the right place for the ribbon cutting ceremony. The villagers spill across the road. From time to time a car comes by and the crowd has to move. A senior man from the telephone company makes a speech about '' Even retirees need to be online ". He is followed by a smiling woman from some government department who says  '' Thanks to the President all of France will soon be on high speed Internet ".  She finishes with '' We are working for you ! ".  A little lady ( who may or may not be our MP )  goes on at length about how she's personally spoken to all the villagers about their needs and ' improved Internet access was their priority'. This comes as something of a surprise to the octogenarian villagers. Perhaps she was thinking of somewhere else ?

A man in a knotted scarf calls for silence. The doors of the metal '' armoire " are then theatrically swung open and we are allowed to see the inside of the junction box.   Unsure of what reaction is required when faced with the inside of a junction box Angus says 'Ooh la la' aloud. Others follow. People clap.  Who knew solid state circuitry could elicit such passion ? Only in France. The telephone company employees beam. A pair of gold scissors are produced and a ribbon with the words '' High Speed Internet Village " is cut. Pieces of the ribbon are distributed to the children '' So that you can remember this happy and important day ". The children do their best to look impressed. The mayor , who doesn't have a computer, mutters something inaudible. The man with the knotted scarf says that rural pupils will no longer be at a disadvantage to those in Paris. '' France is more than the Lycee Henri IV ". The national anthem is sung.

We all then head back to the village hall for a technical presentation on fibre optic Internet.

Angus and Bob drive off to the rugby while 'The Font' and Sophie wander across the road for the village annual gathering which will 'permettrait de se recontrer et de mieux connaitre '.



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